Fully Grown

by Kirstyn Hippe

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1.
v.1 You could tell me to my face that you love me And I still wouldn't believe you I'm in the habit of assuming the worst So, you love me, where's the joke What's the twist, am I missing something here It's not that I think I'm unworthy of love It's probably something I fear pre-c But ignorance is bliss, I guess Ignorance is bliss, I guess Ignorance is bliss, I guess Loneliness is bliss, I guess c. They say it all happens in good time But what time will that be Cuz the clock is ticking Counting down the hours I spend With no will to be bold And I'm scared of getting old v.2 Every line in my planner is full I'm too busy to schedule in a person How could I when these accidental walls I've built Are concrete, it's routine to keep everyone out And it's hard to find someone willing enough To break these walls down [rep. pre-c + c] b. True, I've never settled, but I've never had the chance It's easy to look strong when you run from any romance I need to fall, run and hide, can't let any of it show Maybe love is something I'm never gonna know [rep. pre-c + c]
2.
04:09
v.1 I'll tell you a story about a little girl Who wanted to go out and conquer the world But the world was more scary than she had once thought With villains determined to thicken the plot But she was the hero, she knew she'd last Through every turn of the page and drip of the hourglass c. Oh, and she grows v.2 When real life hit hard, she turned to books Where the greatest dangers were pirates with hooks But she found herself trapped in the mermaid lagoon And friends turned to sirens with deadly perfume But she was the hero, she knew she'd last Through every turn of the page and drip of the hourglass c. Oh, and she grows b. But growing up is hard When you don't know when you'll stop She looked up at the stars And wished with every drop v.3 In time, she discovered there is a way To survive in the world with a heart full of play Cuz it's not as scary as she had once thought Even though villains can thicken the plot They are just people who sadly forget Their inner child hasn't disappeared yet c.2 Oh, and I grow I'm no hero, but I think I'll last Through every turn of the page And drip of the hourglass
3.
03:04
v.1 I should be sleeping, my eyes should be closed I should be sleeping, oh, heaven knows I can use a few more hours, hell, I can use ten But the second I start to go, my thoughts swirl and echo I reach for the pen and I'm awake again c. I've found the moment When you wonder if it's worth it You sweat, and you toil, and you try But it always ends in goodbye As memories grow faded, is anything sacred? v.2 I should be running, my feet should leave the ground I should be running, and still, without a sound Complacency sneaks up and I never want to move After awhile, it's all been reconciled And I've abandoned my tennis shoes [rep. c] b. I should be crying, my eyes are dry I should be learning, I'm just getting by I should be changing, maybe I do If not for the better, at least for you If not for the better, at least for you c.2 I've found the moment When you know for sure it's worth it You sweat, and you toil, and you try And it always ends in goodbye But memories aren't wasted, they're sacred
4.
03:59
v. 1 I've been flipping through my history books Ones with pastel pages The further back the timestamps go The harder knowing my age is I'm suddenly alone without a single clue Where in hell to go or what to do One thing I know to be absolutely true There's room in my cracked armor for you c.1 The girl with the ladybug backpack Bouncing to school on her own Too many lasts cloud her forecast How do you face the world fully grown v.2 I've been drinking too much roll with the punch Must have been spiked, cuz now I'm tipsy Soon I'll be drunk on missing every shot Sipping fear more potent than whiskey I'm 21 and the only thing that means Is I'm still not allowed to rent a car Don't worry mother, I won't go to extremes I don't plan on drowning sorrows in a bar c.2 I just want my ladybug backpack Bouncing to school on my own Too many lasts disrupting my past How do you face the world fully grown b. Oh, where's that girl I used to know Did she push her little swing too high Did she learn to touch the sky Did she finally say goodbye c.3 Where is that ladybug backpack As I stumble through life on my own Too many lasts, I can't help but ask How do you face the world fully grown How do you face the world fully grown How can I face the world fully grown
5.
03:30
v.1 There will come a moment when Your life's before your eyes Will it underwhelm you or Take you by surprise Will you have done the things that You always said you would Will everyone say It's a shame you were misunderstood pre-c How many lessons will sit collecting dust Never used before you turned to rust c. What will you say on your dying day What will you do when your heart doesn't pull through v.2 Will you succumb to cancer that's Not even your own Will the weight of the world Hit like a falling stone Or will you be paralyzed By what you never did Shifting blame to ease the pain Of lives you failed to live pre-c The cliche is it happens in a blink You probably won't even have time to think [repeat c] pre-c It's possible your story won't end well Will you at least have a story to tell What will you say on your dying day
6.
v.1 Staring out my window at the sky Sunset clouds make everything alright For now, but soon I'll crash down Won't be long till I'm 6 feet underground Mixed metaphors running through my head Highways and lemonade, I think I've been misled In believing life and love are easy That box of chocolates i just a tease c. Cuz I have bruises on my heart that I made And my excuses underwhelm and overplay That's why I refuse to let anything begin I get burned every time, every time I start again v.2 The world seems to be in on some big dumb secret Give me some trust, I can keep it But I won't overestimate what the world will do I know I'll never be able to love you [rep. c] b. It's not other people, it's me I think I can finally see It's not other people, it's me That's just how it's gotta be [rep. c]
7.
03:15
v.1 I got a new guitar, so I guess I should use it It's smooth beneath my skin A sharp contrast from my calloused fingers But even they are starting to wear thin c. Cuz I've forgotten how to write Every word in my head never sees the light They roll around in my brain Until I finally say... Fine, stay v.2 I reminisce on the time my thoughts flowed freely A moment rendered rare What's usually a major key is suddenly a minor I have homemade inspiration but I'm longing for designer I won't leave my chair till there's letters on this page And a different energy is in the air [rep. c] b. Fine, stay Cuz I've got all day Seems like you've found your refuge anyway Hidden from my eyes and my lips and my heart All there's left to do is restart and restart and restart Fine, stay [x6] [rep. c]
8.
03:23
v.1 Thrift store happiness, an almost fit But there's an itch underneath it all For something other than off-brand hands to hold But there are no returns, though you're not sold You'll stick around till you wear down c. But look, you're kinda threadbare too Masquerading as brand new Maybe we're all gently used Of course, when everything is on display You reinforce that you're okay Sew patches over all your stains And roll up what hangs on your sleeve Protect it while it's still pristine It's trendy to be torn apart But you can't barter with a battered heart v.2 Secondhand joy, you find a boy Hidden in a stack of faded jeans And stand there staring a moment too long In swoops a bolder soul, and he's gone So you move on [rep. chorus] Roll up what hangs on your sleeve Protect it while it's still pristine It's trendy to be torn apart But you can't barter with a battered heart
9.
03:38
v.1 California, guess I'm going Hopefully it's for the best New York City, it's been nice knowing you But I'm jumping on a plane toward the west And I'm never coming back here Until I come back to stay So goodbye concrete jungle I can't let you get in my way c. Don't get too comfortable, stop planting roots You'll only regret it in the end Cuz you can't be in one place for long And time is never your friend v.2 California, treat me kindly With your mild sunny days I'm confident that I won't mind Getting away from the rain I'll pack up my umbrella And put it on a shelf Until next time, my Manhattan Maybe till I find myself [rep. chorus] California, do you remember When I first held your hand In the dead of summer But my feet never touched sand Even then I knew that somehow I'd return to stake my claim On a life in California Where nobody knows my name [rep. chorus] Time is never your friend Yeah, you can't be in one place for long And time is never your friend
10.
v.1 My mother has a map inside her head Every single turn she's ever tread Etched in ink upon her skin Tattooed stains of where she's been From Kentucky to LA She's confident until she sees A forest looms beyond the trees In a place she doesn't recognize And it's too dark to read the signs So she drives the other way pre-c But I'm satisfied to stay On unfamiliar terrain My map is in my heart, not my brain c. But my mouth is taped shut I'll just peel it off It'll hurt, but the pain won't last forever Everything that I know In my soul, in my bones Telling me I'm on the right road v.2 My father has a map inside his phone All possible directions set in stone He follows designated lines Doesn't need to read the signs He knows the proper way [rep pre-c + c] b. Her magnet's off and his needle's bent But they're too proud to see I have my own compass and I'll Follow where it leads [rep c] Even if it's facing far from home

about

This album 100% would not have been possible without the incredible work of Andrew Streeter, who did all the mixing/mastering and also added in all other instruments besides guitar/uke and vocals (plus the cello stylings of his wife Catherine and the meow stylings of Bill Murray the cat).

Find more of their work here: whispersands.com

Putting this album into the world feels a lot like putting my heart on the line. I really hope you love it.

photo by Marina Barham: instagram.com/marinaelisee

credits

released April 27, 2018

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about

Kirstyn Hippe New York, New York

Kirstyn Hippe is a 24-year-old musician and social media enthusiast currently residing in New York City. Please buy this stuff so she isn't broke. Really. I'm so broke please

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